A couple of nights ago, I had a conversation with one of my mother and we talked about a lot of things (normally I can't talk to her without becoming very angry so I guess the meds are starting level my moods out). We were talking about a family member and I asked my mother if she knew this person had said [they] were sexually abused as a child. My mom replied with yes and [they] told you have said that also. A long silence entered the phone.

Perhaps too many years had passed and she doesn't recall me saying some of the things that had happened. In those few brief moments of silence, I tried to remember exactly what I had said to her so many years ago. Maybe I wasn't direct enough? I remember I was angry and I did speak up. I moved out of my house at the age of 17 and finished school in another town.

Anyway, I told yes. Then had to recount all the events again. It's just unreal to me that twice this month (once while watching the Maury show) I've relived everything. Now, my mother wants to confront a certain person and I asked her to wait until I talked to my T on Wednesday.

Is this normal? Shouldn't I want to confront? It's just been buried so long and I've ran so far. Would it beneficial for me? Would it help me bury it once and for all? I just don't know, I feel like I'm standing at the edge of cliff, trapped, with no way out.

It's been years since I haven't been able to fall asleep because of memories. But after our conversation, I heard every noise in the house and just laid there, eyes wide open, knowing nothing was there but feeling like someone was coming or had just been there.