Right so i was just wonderinghow people has ve managed in new relationships after abuse. When i was young i was sexually abused by a number off different people(males and females) following this i also got myself into a bit off a viscious circle with other men basically not knowig how to draw the line, i know how stupid and irrational.it is but i used to hate struggling. I used to feel like if i struggled and still got ****ed id been raped but if i just took it i was havin sex which i now obviously know is not right but at the time i didnt really know any better. Ive since attempted a few relationships but i still.find it very hard.to relax and realise that this is normal and right i still often feel disgusting afterward, just something i cant seem to change. I was just wonderig if anyone was in the same siuation or has been and how theye managed to getinto more normal relationships?
Ive more recently dabbled withe idea that im gay. I have wonderer before. I find it really hard to seperate how i really feel out from how ive been made to feel; do i really like women or is it just my 'fear' off men? Do i feel disgustig after having sex with men because off wjats happened in the past or am i just not attracted to them? Major confusion!! Help!