Miswimmy1, were you like this when you first started seeing ts? When I first started going to a t, I told her a lot of my story. She noticed that I talked about these horrid things as if it was no big deal. I'm not quite so bad now. I have been going to therapy off and on for 30 years. Every time a session is coming up, my anxiety is really high. I want to curl up and cover my head. My little girl inside is terrified. I get diarhea which makes me even more nervous. I try to tell myself that t is my friend and that she doesn't want to hurt me. That helps a bit sometimes. I think your suggestion to Retro chic "our mind does funny things when we are freaked out. by telling him/her, they can help you with coping mechanisms"is a good one. If you are not ready to tell your t what you went through then maybe you could ask him/her for coping skills that could help you until you are ready to talk about it. I am going to ask my t about this.

You are not alone Miswimm1. You have lots of friends here that you can talk to.