First of all,
I'm sorry you're struggling so much.
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I can email. And call. And text. But I feel like reaching out isn't helping. So I might as well not...
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Why don't you think it's helpful? Does your T not reply?
I used to email my T when I feeling awful, and sometimes she wouldn't reply, but we would talk about it at our next session. With another T, I would bring in my journal sometimes and read her things I wrote when I was feeling really bad, so she would know that I was in a lot of pain, since during our sessions, I always seem fine.