I am in an emotionally abusive relationship and am turning here because I am planning to go to a therapist but that takes time. My live in boyfriend constantly makes me feel as if I'm worthless or not doing enough. We have a large cultural difference between us- he is middle eastern and I am American. With his culture comes a lot of expectations- I should do all the cooking, cleaning, and work full time. His job is physically demanding and taking a toll on his body. Everyday it is a gamble- will he wake up miserable and take it out on me? This morning despite him being in immense pain he decided to start cooking a large middle eastern meal. However, the air is nasty towards me-angry that I am not cooking this meal or that I don't know how. I don't know why he chose to be with and live with an American if he had these demands. Infact, I've locked myself in the bathroom as I type this so that he does not think I am being lazy n my iPad. I am not allow to relax as he figures I work in an office and do not suffer at work like him. It s quite the contrary. I am not allow to feel sad or grieve the death of my father. If I ask him to go out and get out from the house he says no- however if I try to go out with friends I am punished with the silent treatment and nastiness. He does not have any friends here and his family left back to his country last year. It is like he punishes me for him choosing to stay as well. His latest threat is that he will leave and go back. I know this relationship could never go any further but the thought of him leaving scares me. I still love him and cannot picture life and financially cannot afford this place. I don't know how to move on. It has been two and a half years and I only saw this change once his parents left. I feel so empty and lost. My mom and sister are 2 states away and aside from one close friend I am alone here. I'm scared to feel lonely once he is gone if this is not just another threat. I hope I can find some strength.

I just feel so alone at the moment although he is here and not communicating with me. I know he is looking up flights to leave the country. It hurts to be ignored when I've done nothing wrong. It's as though we are broken up but the break up didn't occur. I just feel so lost and alone.