You've already said that you feel lost and alone, but you're scared of feeling lonely? I think you already are. You can still feel lonely with other people around, you know?

I think it's clear that you're both unhappy. He isn't happy where he is, and you aren't happy with him either. He's isolated you from your friends, and even prevented you from grieving over the death of your father. I think that's an incredibly important thing to do.

I feel like you expect and desire to be treated as an equal. Cooking and cleaning aren't jobs reserved for one person, but a job to be shared amongst each other. It's only going to stress you out to continue this. If you don't mind me asking, why are you living there? What are you pursuing? If it's just an office job, I don't see why you can't do it two states away among your family and friends, regardless of whether or not your boyfriend stays. Not knowing you that well, I still think you'd feel better elsewhere.