shooting4stars,

Have you tried looking at it like this: We all have problems. Some of us can't stand certain people for an unknown reason. Perhaps we've had negative experiences with types of people before, which leaves us with a little tension towards others with similarities in personality type. I'd look at your personal background, to see if you've had similar relationships before that became very painful for you somewhere along the way.

Personally, I've known all of my life that my brother is narcissistic. I resent him for lots of abuse that he did to me & other women throughout life. The fact that my mom is very similar to my brother went unnoticed until last week! The abuse was different from her, but there has been something deeply negative between my mom and I once I started learning about psychology. As time passed, I just couldn't stand her anymore!

She's in her early 60's as well. And, yeah, she had a crummy life in many ways. Abused physically and emotionally as a child ~ then married a man who abused her and had a child with him. Back then, the church demanded that you stay with your man...being beaten or not, her job was to stay. Which she did, until her hub started hitting her son. That was the end of their marriage. Very sad...I feel for her on many levels! But, I can't get myself to let go of the resentment that built between us, as she made some BIG mistakes in my childhood. I especially become furious with her for going on and on about knowing (you name it). It just bugs the hell out of me!! How cruel that both she and my brother are unwilling and unable to apologize to me for their mistakes that occurred years ago & I've been suffering ever since then. My childhood wasn't easy either (I have BPD) & if they're unwilling to look at that aspect, and realize that they held some responsibility, than I have to let go of them. Because it's too painful for me to keep holding onto the hope that they'll some day say, "sorry".

I hope that puts the issue into a different perspective for you & makes things more clear on why/how this issue is difficult for you to accept.