You would not believe whom I saw today! Well, I have had quite a day. Quite a day. First, I received a citation from a police officer in the city of Palo Alto, CA (a very low crime, high cost of living city where the policemen have nothing better to do than give citations to pedestrians) for crossing an empty street on a red light! I will know in two weeks how much the citation will cost me. Damn! An "on foot" violation. I have never had one! Damn it, I was not even in a rush - I had plenty of time and could have waited. Oh well! Now I guess for at least some while I will patiently wait for the green light, even though in my city I have never heard of a pedestrian being cited. So... then I went for a complimentary consult with a laser liposuction surgeon, and then I went to see a marijuana doctor. Two non-standard doctors in one Saturday!

So in a matter of less than a week I went from being a person who would never consider a lipo to being a person who is getting informed. Unbelievable!

Here is how it happened.

Last year I started laser hair removal at a laser clinic in Palo Alto. The process went extremely well (it is very liberating to not have to shave and I consider it money well spent) and I wanted to leave a rave Yelp review. Before leaving my review, I read the existing reviews. I learned that the clinic does an array of procedures besides hair removal. Most of them are for skin care. I do not need them - I have good skin. I just glanced over without reading. I did read a review of an abdominal laser liposuction complete with Before and After pictures. It was interesting, but not something I would consider.

Fast forward to now. I went back and reread the review more carefully, learning that each fall the clinic runs a special. Because I am of a high opinion of this clinic based on my experience with the hair removal, which is not only effective but also practically painless, and because the review is very positive, I decided that if I do opt to have the procedure, I will choose this clinic. I will not shop around. Plus, I am limited in terms of transportation and the clinic is near a train station.

After rereading the review I emailed the clinic asking whether they are running a special now and to quote me the prices. They replied that they are running a special but since each case is individual they do not quote prices over email, but can offer me a consult. I asked if the doctor can see me on a Saturday and she offered me a slot this morning.

I emailed my GP asking her what I should be cautious about, and she said "anesthesia". She said to get the name of the anesthetic and run it by the p-doc because the anesthetic can affect mood. Then I did some web searches and found a list of questions to ask a laser surgeon. About ten questions. I added about ten questions that I myself came up with and went in.

I found the doctor refreshingly honest. He talked about reasonable expectations. He said that the procecure is done primarily to improve the look in clothes. The look in a bathing suit - not so much (he did not talk about the look in the nude, but I concluded that it would be even worse than the look in a bathing suit, by extension). He said that the higher the area being worked on, the better the outcome. Arms come out very nicely. Abdomen - OK. Thighs - not so good. I asked about inner thighs because it bothers me that I cannot wear a skirt for more than a day at a stretch since my inner thighs rub against each other to the point of irritation. This is a shame since I love the feminine look of skirts, especially floor-length skirts. He said that he can remove the rubbing and improve the shape but the skin would become wrinkled. I immediately decided against having the procedure on the thighs because I value my sensitive, thin, smooth skin down there. I guess I will need to just try putting petroleum jelly before putting on skirts and see if it works to prevent irritation. No wrinkled skin - no, thanks. That one way easy. So again, I liked that the doctor did not behave like a salesman. He gave me honest info that enabled me to quickly decide not to pay money to him - nice.

So arms would be a nice to have (California has a long season for sleeveless tops) but abdomen and the waist are a must. I do not think that exercise alone can undo what my third pregnancy did to me. I was really huge and I delivered a 9 lb baby! The doctor said that yes, having children is very hard on the body. He said that since I have only a few stretchmarks, the skin would tighten nicely post-surgery. He found the muscles good, too, but added that abdominal exercises would be good because the better the muscles, the better the outcome of the procedure. I hate abdominal exercises!

For some reason I thought that abdominal lipo runs about 10K. I do not even know why I thought that. No - if I pay in October, it would be 3.5K. The procedure takes 4 hours so the price seems reasonable. Outside of their yearly October special, the price is 5K.

The doctor uses Lidocaine for anesthesia, aided by Ativan and Vicodin. I said that I respond to Klonopin better than to Ativan and have my own, and he said that it is OK. I gave him my list of drugs and he said that he does not know of any interactions, but asking the p-doc would be best.

The best time to have the surgery is when the patient has stabilized her weight. That does not describe me - I have lost some weight recently and may lose more. So now is not a good timing. Most likely I will wait until next October doing what I can: biking to work, Metformin, possibly Topomax, jogging on the treadmill - and then treat myself to the procedure.

The procedure leaves marks from the incisions. The doctor chooses hideaway places for the incisions but, he said, "if someone looks closely they would notice". So, I take it, you do not have to disclose having done the procedure to bystanders but sexual partners would know. Oh well!

Only 4-5 lbs of weight gets to be taken out; it is more body contouring than weight loss. He said that he can remove fat from the waist to restore the original hourglass line.

I can do 3.5K on credit and pay down within a year.

I think it is reasonable to give myself one year to trim down using non-surgical methods and then finish it off with the surgery.

To Venus: Rubens' women are ueberfat, and given his popularity in his day and age I take it that ueberfat was at some point "in". The tastes do change with the times. Both in Medieval ages and during the Flapper period in the 1920s flat chests were "in", but now women get breast implants much more frequently than breast reductions.

A propos of breasts: the doctor asked me if I have natural breasts! At first I was flabbergasted - for a second. No one had asked me this question before! Then I figured that seeing a potential consumer of lipo in front of him, he is entitled to assuming that the breasts may be fake.

That's all; quite a transformation. And, I am not manic - I am perfectly stable. Deciding to postpone a big purchase by one year is clearly not manic.

Would I be doing it for a man? No, for myself! I am tired of not feeling like a woman; I want my curves back. Everything that contributed to the current state of affairs is now a thing of the past. Sedentary lifestyle is a thing of the past - I mostly stand or lie down to use the computer and I walk quite a bit. Overeating is gone. Depakote is gone. Zyprexa is gone. So... it is OK to remove the evidence of that past.

I guess I will have to warm up to core exercises - I want to do what is in my power to improve the outcome.