Wow, talk about a thread I never thought I'd be posting in...
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueInanna
I feel very sad too. I don't think you want to hear anything negative about either of these men... but I respect neither. I am so sad about this topic, it might be a trigger so forgive me if I offend. I really don't like D. commenting on your daughters' shape, admiring their ankles even. This scares me.
Hamster, men who are easily swayed by the seduction of a woman's body will not make the best mates,...
I am sad to hear skinny women compared to adolescent boys. I know you mean no harm Momma, but some of our friends here are really struggling to gain weight and just can't.  ... |
Thanks, BlueInanna, this says much of what I was thinking finally reading all (11!) pages of this thread. Re: commenting on the daughters. From family experience I can tell you that this is most assuredly NOT a good sign. Re: skinny woman as boys (and again, no harm Momma, love ya), a story. After dropping out of university due to first massive depression and taking a job at McD's, I had a supervisor (female!) who teased me saying, "oh, nevermind the heat, you could go mow the law topless and they'd say hey, who's that boy?" That was 21 years ago and it still rings in my ears. But back to your situation... Honest to God, who do these guys think they are anyway?! Olympic judges holding up the number cards?! F*** 'em. And I most assuredly
don't mean literally. Because...tell it, Anika...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anika.
Hmmmm seriously , have these men themselves not aged? Sorry hamster but I think they are ridiculous. That is my opinion and I am sticking too it.
|
Amen! Double standard much?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anika.
Attractiveness is not all about size, or breast shape or whatever. It is objectifying, it isn't right. Women are more than just a body put here to pleasure men, and this is not what we as women should be pandering too. I already told you tho what I thought about this, you need to find someone who loves you for you, what happens as you age even more, maybe arthritis sets in, or hair loss...
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but the comments were harsh. I wouldn't bother addressing this if I didn't really think it is a huge part of the problem.
|
Thank you Anika for finding the exact word that eluded me: pandering. The fact that women feel they need to is a really sad commentary. What's more, the men that think this should be a given are just pathetic s.o.b.s and do not deserve the time of day. Not only do the tables need to be turned, so do the hormones, because isn't is just convenient the testosterone-aided firm leg muscles even among the sedentary. Now... heheh, I'm sure this is coming off as some irate man-hating heavy-set woman rant. Indeed not. I'm downright scrawny (and yes, at 49, so don't want to hear the age thing) and I have always been more comfortable with men as friends, and no two ways about it, the other way too. I don't hate men at all. I adore them. But like anything else, there are good people, and then there are asses. (And there are good ones out there, there truly are.)
Also worth nothing... I am 6 years older than my BF, and he is far cooler with my body/age issues than I am. In reverse, I had pause at the beginning, as he is physically different than what I loosely thought of as "my type". But I quickly came to adore, and even consider major turn on
because it is him. It's not the what. It's the who.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueInanna
...Guys who look at little girls, guys who make a woman feel bad about her body to control her, can s.uck my big toe while I kick them in the face...
|
OMG, I love this! Lol. "Control" is a very good word. What else could it be called when someone takes advantage of another's insecurities to manipulate them? And increase insecurity for what will likely be escalating expectations. How convenient.
Quote:
Originally Posted by abience
I have to agree with some of the folks on here. D assessing your daughters like he was assessing you is just creepy and wrong. I wouldn't have let him anywhere near my girls after that. But that's just me...
Don't put so much stalk in what they said. I think for some reason you prefer stark honesty in the way men perceive you. At some point it just is going to wear you down and make you feel this bad about yourself.
|
Yes. Hamster, I've definitely picked up in your postings an analytical bent. And this is great to bring to the table. HOWEVER. Just because someone is starkly honest
does not make what they say true. Honest and true might seem to be the same, but what someone honestly thinks doesn't automatically make it TRUE in objective reality.
And, forgive my inner cynic, or, more accurately, observer of behavior... Someone can say they honestly think something. And it can be total B.S.. They have simply learned that saying so gets them what they want. Sorry. It happens. And with what can be otherwise very sweet people...
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
...I asked about inner thighs because it bothers me that I cannot wear a skirt for more than a day at a stretch since my inner thighs rub against each other to the point of irritation. This is a shame since I love the feminine look of skirts, especially floor-length skirts... I guess I will need to just try putting petroleum jelly before putting on skirts and see if it works to prevent irritation...
|
Another thing I never thought I'd be commenting on
It's not an issue for me, but I'd imagine that solution to be messy. Consider the fabric of the skirts... yeah, might not look great. Tip: try a comfy pair of shorts underneath. Obviously nothing involving thick fabric, zippers, pockets etc, just a lightweight elasticized waistband kind of thing.. I dunno, like jammie shorts? Silky sorts to not get ride-up?