For a lack of a better place I am putting my thread here to describe what is happening. I took a part time job which averages 16 hours a week. I took it to get my mind off my head problems. But it seems to be making them worse. Whether it is the stress of being in a social situation or just my brain chemistry, I now have a visitor who watches me wherever I go. She berates me constantly how I will never amount to anything. I am wasting my time trying to make myself better. She says I will be fired soon. After telling my therapist, she has disappeared from her usual place but now I am on high alert, whenever I am in the adult section of our library, because she likes to spook me. I knew where to find her before, so I wish I had not told him where she liked to sit. I bumped into her in the psych section a few days ago and it frightened me. Yesterday, she yelled at me because it was so loud in the library and she wanted me to tell patrons to quiet down. I cannot do that! I want her to leave me alone but I also would be afraid to lose her. She wanted me to come and sit and chat with her but that is a "no no". To make matters worse I am paranoid about my coworkers. They seem nice enough but I think they are out to make me fail at my accomplishment. I love my job and I want to stay. I am fascinated about books that have schizophrenia as their main topic and who have characters that resemble me. Just recently I read Finding Alice by Melody Carlson and I can so relate. I once thought I was Marie Antoinette...that was a long time ago in high school. LOL! Should I be telling everyone this stuff...will someone find out who this really is? I cannot handle the feelings this is giving me by spilling out my deepest thoguhts...