I can definitely relate to wanting to keep the highs. I've been hypo-manic (have bp I) since April & have been enjoying the energy, excitement, etc., but on Sat. night my husband made a comment that hurt my feelings & I took a bunch of Xanax & drank a bottle of wine & ended up in the ER. Went to my therapist today & she wants me to go to my meds provider to see if she wants to adjust dosage, etc. cuz she thinks I'm on the edge of doing some rash & perhaps dangerous behaviors like I did Sat. night. I'm really ashamed of my behavior & don't want to tell my provider cuz I've been stable about 4 yrs. & I'm considered a "success" story. Will have to monitor myself very carefully to see if I start "acting up" again, then it's off to my provider no matter what.