If they truly love you, they will wait! There are plenty of gradual things you can do - holding hands, making out, etc., just as long as it does not lead to intercourse until you (both) are ready. It is okay to tell a guy that you prefer to get to know him first and want to take things slow. If that is not to his liking then he is telling you that the two of you are not compatible and can only be platonic friends. If you have trouble saying "no" to a sex partner then I suggest that you see a T who can help you to learn to voice your needs before engaging in sex prematurely in a potential relationship. A good T can also help you with tips on selecting an appropriate partner.

If you do not learn to say "no" to inappropriate men or women then you will keep repeating this pattern. It is important that someone demonstrate that you can trust them and have good values before engaging in sex with them.

Likewise, your desire for sex may be strong but you have to keep it in check in order for your need for emotional closeness to be met. It is not as easy as it sounds. As alcohol can often loosen up one's libido, if you go to bars to meet people then I suggest you drink only soda or water so that you can make better decisions. In fact, it might be better to avoid places like bars altogether and try social groups, sporting groups, spiritual groups, etc in order to meet suitable people. I wish you all the best.