When I found out I had a terminal desease I made a list of what I wanted to do before I died. see my music idol in concert - completed. go to a famious country music amusement park - unable to complete as it has been sold and closed down. Raise a child - completed as much as I am ever going to be able to do unless I have another child.

My list has been completed. So what do I dream of doing now -

well on top of the pre-existing terminal desease I have since been diagnosed with cancer. The only thing I want now is life every night I hope that I wake up the next morning still cancer cell free, still able to stand up (some days that means with my critches but hey Im still standing right), still able to cook my own meals, and dress myself and take care of myself instead of being in a hospital. and hopefully with my being here still when my child turns 18 and can come home.

Knowing now that life is definately not a guarrenteed thing I no longer think - some day I am going to....

Now I think - Today I am going to.. and make that day the best day I can. Yea sometimes lifes awards don't help in making my day the best day ever.. but like everything else I can choose what I do with the award that I am handed. I can let it bring me down or I can tackle it and find the humor and good side of it in the process. So that at the end of the day I do have some good that has happened that day dispite life awards zapping me.