I feel your pain, I have been in the very spot you are in so please dont feel alone. Hearing you say how you have your beautiful children and you dont want them to see you this way just really hit home to me because I really feel that at times with my own battles I have here. My husband even told me the same thing yours did about wanting you back the way you were before the medication. I was even on seroquel and had to go off of it because it just wasnt the right medication for me. How long have you been on it? It does take time for medications to adjust. If after a reasonable amount of time if you feel that nothing is changing then you need a med change because the meds would not be the proper meds for you. It can take a few trys to find the proper meds, but once you do, you will find that you come back around again. You will be yourself again and you will enjoy life again. Unfortunately in my case I still have ups and downs but as I see it thats how its going to be. They are most definately not as frequent or as drastic as they were when i was unmedicated though. Its better than me being completely off the hook off of my meds. Going out spending 10-15 grand in two weeks or out having an affair because I am manic. I will stay on my meds and change meds when I need to.