Hi suzy,If you don't mind me suggesting,I think it would be wise to be completely honest with your meds person,it's not something you conciously chose to do,if yu know what I mean,it was the manic cycle and chemical crap going on.I think,don't be too hard on your self,all successes have their downs too,but let the professionals help mate.good luck and hang in there,don't ever give up on yourself,it's hard work but we all will get there.Keep in touch mate.