Yes, i m leaving dating or men or whatever for a few years up to now, i got a bad depression...

i just wrote to a online psy doctor telling him why i was always putting myself in a relationship all my life but actually all fake and empty, i feel i was always so curious about intimacy and love, i do not understand, cuz i nvever had those taste or feelings, and it is strange i was seeking that cuz actually my heart already v cold deep down when i was v little, and i was already a lonely soul.
and now i think intimacy is realy a wrong creation from God. If unconditional love is always there in any situations, why God created sex and intimacy? it only takes in lots evil and sin, and really bother or disturb true love..