I can't stop them. Usually when these start it means I am due for a hospitalization and I really want to avoid it if at all possible, because hospitals traumatize me. But I can't stop obsessing. Over every word I say and everything I do. Over small things. The temperature of my apartment. The length of my dog's nails. Time. Money. Dust. Snags in my carpet. I obsess about the internet. My blog. My facebook wall and pictures. Is everything perfect? The amount of gas in my car. What speed I'm going. I cling on everything that I say. Did I say it right? Did I smile? Did I appear passive? I can't be passive. No you didn't say it right. Shut up, please shut up. Stop thinking about it. You need to stop thinking about it. Lydia, stop thinking about it.

Then I get so anxious and my leg moves 100 mph and I can't sleep and I'm miserable. I end up going mad, and either signing myself in or finally trying to end it and getting put in. I sort of haven't worked a lot in my recovery with my OCD, so any suggestions for me?