Hi all, thanks for reading this...I'm new to the forum and I'm just confused. Let me start off by saying I have never been formally tested/screened for depression so I don't know what is wrong with me.

I know for a fact I have anxiety, specifically health anxiety. I worry on a daily basis about having HIV and being so unhealthy that I'm about to die. I got tested for HIV but I just don't believe my negative test result is true. Tied to this worry is the fact that I could sleep all day, and extreme tiredness is a symptom of HIV/AIDS. I don't feel like doing anything, I stay up late, like until 2 am and sleep for 10 hours, wake up, then feel like I could sleep for another 10 hours and sometimes sleep for 2-3 more hours. I feel a huge sense of numbness and like I don't give a damn, then suddenly I worry about absolutely everything. I compulsively check that I have my car keys/credit card/cell phone in my purse/car at least 10 times. The next day, I won't care if I lose everything because nothing is worth it to me.

I've been kicked out of my parents' house, I lost my job, all my life I've been overweight and unattractive. Never had a relationship. I've got a lot of friends and I'm popular but that's because I'm fake and put on a show for everyone. No one can guess how sad I am on the inside about my life. Is this depression? Is it insanity? I dont know. I feel trapped inside my own head, especially with the health stuff.