Quote:
Originally Posted by Aquarius8
Yes, he's a charmer. I even tell him he is, and that's he's just trying to manipulate me to get his own way. Anyway, I do notice a pattern with me. Every guy I've been with has been heartbroken by another woman. It's not like I seek out these men intentionally, but I must be sending some signals out that say, "Hey, come cry on my shoulder!!" Then, over time, I've developed some kind of inferiority complex. I feel like men will never love me first, I am just the one they settle for because they cannot be with their true love. Like I will always be 2nd best, and they'll be dreaming of the first forever. I don't really know where this comes from. Anyone else feel like this?
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I hope this doesn't sound harsh, I certainly don't mean for it to, but telling your bf he's a charmer, etc. doesn't do any good; it won't change him. When/if ppl like that want to change, they do it on their own.
I don't know I've had the same beliefs about myself you have, but I spent years having no understanding of what a mature/responsible bf "looked like"--I don't mean appearance, but the overall package. Reason? My father was never around, broke promises, is passive aggressive, and communicates like a 10 yr old. Therefore, I had no real model of a healthy guy in my life, so I went for the guys who were smart, creative, interesting....but simultaneously flaky, didn't return calls, and did not see the error in their ways (all traits of my father). I played games too without knowing it--fishing for compliments, "how much do you like me" etc. Took a lot of help from friends/working through my past to finally go, "I don't deserve that ****, I thought I did. But how my dad is isn't my fault, and I can have better men in my life than him." It wasn't overnight, but it seeped in my cells slowly.
I hope that helped you a lil.