Thank you for your experiences B and putting it into words so wonderfully.

IMO, this relates to BPD, who says our minds are immune from splitting even in fantasies? If we are inherent 'splitters' we will do it across the board.

This is classic Idealization vs. Devaluation.

"When viewing people as all good, the individual is said to be using the defense mechanism idealization: a mental mechanism in which the person attributes exaggeratedly positive qualities to the self or others. When viewing people as all bad, the individual employs devaluation: attributing exaggeratedly negative qualities to the self or others.
In child development, idealization and devaluation are quite normal. During the childhood development stage, individuals become capable of perceiving others as complex structures, containing both good and bad components. If the development stage is interrupted (by early childhood trauma, for example), these defense mechanisms may persist into adulthood."

And may also persist into our fantasies, dreams, subconscious life...
It happens to me all the time.