Quote:
Originally Posted by Passion222
I went to the dermatologist and he had to look at skin on my face and I turned bright red and burned up. He asked what's wrong. I said "I hate the way I look and hate having you look at me". I kept looking away. He kept reassuring me that it's ok for him to look at my face. I just can't stand how I look. I can't even look in mirror much anymore. I see a ugly repulsive fat acne infested person.
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I am in the same boat as you with the body repulsion. I'm grateful we have no full length mirrors at the moment. I've stopped wearing makeup because I figure why bother.
Though I no longer suffer from it, in my teens I had awful acne--the kind no OTC med could touch. My derm tried Differin gel on me before it was on the market, didn't work either. This was also before Proactiv, etc. I ended up taking Accutane, which obliterated my acne; I only have a few pimples around my period. But it was an extreme drug; its ingredients/chemical makeup were so potent it caused serious birth defects in pregnant women, so I had to take a pregnancy test monthly to ensure that wouldn't happen. Derms don't use it anymore--I read once Europe did research & determined it was 900 times as likely to cause depression as other acne meds.
Anyways, before I got that serious-but-wonder drug, my face was covered in acne. It was gross and I felt hideous; I couldn't touch my skin without causing immediate breakouts. So I sympathize with how you feel. Are you on an acne med?
P.S.---Just because you have bad acne doesn't mean once you get it taken care of your skin will be scarred. I rarely picked at my face because I'd seen ppl with the pock mark scars and i was terrified that would happen to me. But ppl are shocked when i tell them how bad my acne was because there are no scars, thankfully. There's hope hon,
