Big safe hugs to you! It was VERY difficult for me to wrap my head around what was going on with the DID. When I was in college (back in 1994), they still called it MPD. I thought I just had a very bad memory!! But my college T told me I had MPD. I denied it TOTALLY! I was NOT like the portrayal of that in the movies I had seen. It actually made me angry that he suggested "such a thing" to me!

My advice is to research DID. Perhaps get books on it. You have to become your own expert sometimes.