**Trigger Warning-sui. mentioned**




I am just back from seeing my t and my pdoc calls me every few days. For some reason, both believe I am having suicide ideation (is that the right word?)
Yes, I am depressed, yes, I have a lot of stress with the new job, yes, my mind goes there sometimes, yes, I am feeling pretty hopeless and helpless these days.
But I don't think I am on the brink of sui. It must be something I am saying to both that makes them believe this. I have been there before, and I am not in the mind frame to go there again.
I don't get all of this, but I am just about to say, screw it, and stop the meds, the visits, and the phone calls. I don't believe I am going to harm myself with or without them.
Bluemountains