Hi, Lilac and welcome!

I'm sorry you're having a difficult time.

Our childhoods can affect our adult lived tremendously, especially with a continual and specific abuse... I'm so sorry that you suffered as a child.

Just because that first therapst didn't "get it", doesn't mean that there's not plenty out there that can help you. Also, money isn't an issue at local community mental health centers. Please call community services in your area and find the nearest community mental health center. I saw a beautiful and gifted therapist from one for years who helped me in ways that I couldn't imagine.

Until then, we're here and we're listening. Abuse hurts. Unresolved it snowballs in our lives as we grow.

KD