((((sugahorse))),

I think you're staying away from the very things that "help" you. Can you just go and groom your horse, let him smell you and "nuzzle" you? I do that myself, I just go and cuddle my horse and take in his beauty. I also try to watch an "upbeat" movie too or go for a quiet walk.

I am so sorry about your grandmother, it is so hard when a family member is dying.
Sigh....it is understandable that your parents are upset too. After all, that is one of your parent's "mom" and that is a very challenging loss for anyone. It is hard to go through and difficult to heal from.

((((Hugs))))

I broke down myself after I just could not get up and face another day of caring for my injured animals. Honestly, I think if I had just had some rest and been away from it and even if I just spent time sitting on a beach and quiet, I might have done better to calm down and "repair" or re energize in some way. And that is what we need to think about when so much comes all at once, to try to find time outs and allow ourselves to "re-engergize" and "regroup".