When I look in the mirror, I just...don't see me. I've changed a lot, appearance wise:

From



To



But it's not all about appearance. I can be in a certain situation, just look around and think. "Hang on, is this actually me?". I feel like I've lost my identity. I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder if it's actually me. It doesn't feel like me.

I don't really know me. I don't know. I'm so confused.

I can be lying with my boyfriend, he'll be speaking, and then I'll just start thinking, what the hell? Is this actually me? I'm actually here. What am I doing here? How did I get here?

Suicidal thoughts are also rearing their ugly head again. But I'm not going back to the services. If they cared about my life they wouldn't just not contact me when I missed my last appointment.

RB ♥