I was raped and it affects my H and mine's sex life alot. We have been married 18 years. We are just now starting to do trauma work. It's a good thing to because I'm not sure what waiting longer would have done to us.

We see the same T as a couple. It is tough. I ask her can you help me talk about this or that w/ him. I don't know where to start. We discuss what we will do to make sure that happens. We discuss things that are between me and her only. If it's something she thinks I need to share with him she always asks first. Can I tell him....... I tell her yes or no, why, how, not right now or in another month. My H does the same. I don't know what he and the T discuss. She sometimes discusses with me a issue he had and doesn't want to talk about with me there. So me and her talk about it and she tells me what he thought or said. Sometimes we come together and discuss things and sometimes we just leave things alone and wair for her to guide the session how ever she see fit. T together is not so bad. I have not told my H alot of the details of the rape only that it happened and this often why I do what I do.

Consider T together. What do you have to lose. You owe it to your selves.