Sometimes while looking out the window into the wide world at its blue sky and its green trees and people buzzing about unaware of what is all around them and hidden in shadows that move just on the edge of life.
I too know what it is like to be buzzing about till the color of the sky is no more than just one more day passing on into another same thing over and over.
So many things I want to do, be and experience.
Yet, still knowing that it is all so small in the comparison to the billions of things that are going on right now in the world that I cant fix or hope to.
Looking back into my past at all the darkness there that hides by day waiting upon its turn in the darkness of the late hours of night. Knowing that there is still a part of me that remains an empty void, though I have regained so much and now have a much better life that I have build upon with tears and a constant will .
Still that part remains that does not care of the world, its people or anything at all, that looks down upon it with the glowing yellow eyes or knowledge and indifference.
Walking away from the window to the world back into the comfort of repitition and the steady , fully aware of the dark chaos that lingers behind the door I keep locked inside.

**
*