I think that it would be good for you to be an EMT. You are right, you survived for a reason. You were meant to be a part of this world and you can make it worthwhile. You know the truth from your past and let them be the liars, it is their guilt not yours. Your past won't show up on a background check unless YOU have a criminal history. You will do fine once you get past the stress and anxiety. This might very well be your calling in life. Go for it and be happy. Keep us posted. Best wishes and I will be thinking about you.