I see it as a combination of something medical/chemical/organic (whatever you want to call it) going on AND issues from my past. The combination of the two has been what has been so difficult over the years.

I do believe there is something "physical" going on with me in regards to the bipolar disorder aspect of my issues. I suspect one day researchers will find the gene or chemical aspect (or whatever) that leads to the unexplicable slides into depression, etc. that can't really be pinpointed to something going on currently in my life nor even in my history. It FEELS physical/organic when it is that way, as opposed to times when it is clear that something in my history or current life is situationally setting things off.

But I also have a pretty extensive abuse history that clearly intermingles with the bipolar disorder and the combination of the two has been pretty devastating at times. Therapy has helped immensly with this side of my issues, but the bipolar symptoms hang in there despite all the therapy in the world and it is the bipolar symptoms that have required medication in the past (and probably will again in my future) and it is the bipolar symptoms that have landed me in the hospital for the only thing that could put them in check -- medical treatment.