Sounds like depression to me.

I'm sorry you feel so crappy right now.

I don't know much about self harm but I've heard snapping an elastic on your wrist sometimes works. You feel the pain but no real injury.

I've been told that cutting is a physical expression of what you're feeling. That's always made sense to me.

Good for you for getting rid of the blades.

My guess is that you are beautiful no matter what scars you may have.

Do you have a good GP? From the sounds of it you need some help and support. It's not an easy road on your own.

I don't know your parents but it sounds like they don't understand mental illness at all. It's not as simple as controlling your emotions. It's not your fault