I've had the idea that sui ideation is nowhere near as serious as being on the brink or planning sui...? The pdocs used to say that very casually, maybe I didn't understand what they were saying.

I think it's good to believe in yourself, like you are. Remember you're the client (patient), you may need to speak up for yourself and tell them straight out what you're feeling. Like, "I want to make sure you understand I have no plans for this, I'm just thinking about it sometimes". The point of a pdoc is to give you a dx and give you meds. A lot of it is up to us to tell them what we need. Like, "I need something more for anxiety, or depression, or sleep, or racing thoughts". They seem to respond well to, "Look, I need to sleep and be able to function during the day. This or that med is not working for me, I have read about this or that med and want to try it".

Sorry I'm prob going off tangent. I also have Moremi on my mind, and the pdoc not giving her what she feels would help her.

But bottom line, trust how you're feeling, you know best how you are feeling, if you're not in danger and you know it, tell them - they work for you. You pay, they work. That's how it should be in my mind.