Yes I suffer with the same, maybe not to such a high level as you.
And I refuse anti depressants as they make me feel worse.

When I had really bad panic attacks and anxiety, I tried hypnotherapy this helped me to relax and build confidence, it didn't cure them but gave me motivation to get up and get out there. And eventually they stopped.
Now with the mood swings and depression. My depression is not as dark as it was back in January but the mood swings are in full force.
I find the gym really helps its hard to get into when your feelin low but it's amazingly surprising how good your mood is when you leave.
And a lot of doctors and therapists recommend this kind of therapy.
I hope this helps some what.
((Hugs))