Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
just my opinion, but it reverts us to child status and we remember that as a powerless time, we value our adult status a lot and don't like to see ourselves heavily dependent again -
It's something big, that happens to us involuntarily, and we cannot ignore it (and worse, cannot shut it off, we just have to endure it).
That's how someone defined shame - having your private self involuntarily exposed to others and you find that you're unable to defend against the exposure.
And it's especially awful to realize that we're hugely exposed to someone we hardly know (when you come down to it), and who knows so very much about us - it heightens the sense of vulnerability past a tolerable level.
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awesome explanation! I wonder if clients were given an open explanation about transference and why it occurs at the very start of therapy if it would make it feel less shameful. It wasn't until i read about it here that i realised that my transference was normal. Doesn't make it any less uncomfortable tho!
How many clients must go thru therapy feeling abject shame and maybe even leave without explaining to the therapist what is going on for them. I've been able to tolerate my maternal transference because of my knowledge of why it happens, i still feel a bit embarrassed about it but less ashamed.