I'm wondering if anyone else does this, and why do I?

I came to PC with a desperate need to connect with others that had conditions and stories that were similar to my own, however, since my arrival I have unconsciously and consciously steered away from the areas within PC that are tailored to information, and support for people with similar situations.

I don't know why I do this, but I don't want to hear about my disorders. I don't want to have a real conversation about them. I think that I am afraid of what I might feel like if I did. Does this make sense? I don't want to fall down.

I become very upset after reading some threads in which '"survivors" have recounted their experiences.

Recently, I threw china plates threw the glass of my great-grandmother's antique hutch and destroyed a crystal chandler with a closet rod after reading a small part of one person's emotional post. I couldn't even finish reading it, I was so overcome with rage.

Am I alone in this? Does anyone else avoid real contact with others that have the same diagnosis or information regarding their disorders? Does anyone else explode with such intense anger? Am I the only one?

Unsure if I really want an answer,

-Fleeing Bellocq