((((((huggs))))))))

I've experienced sexual assault, molestation, exploitation, and emotional abuse from my father for many years.

For me, I find it easier addressing my issues with my father than with my mother. (Not that dealing with my father is easy . . . it's very triggering so I avoid him and anyone who reminds me of him at all costs.) It hurts me more knowing my mother did not protect me as a child and still to this day supports her relationship with my father versus a relationship with me. That hurt little girl inside of me still longs for her Mommy. Why can't I stop needing her? Why do I still continue an unhealthy relationship with her? I'm very angry with my mother. But not once have I expressed anger towards her. Am I that afraid of hurting her feelings? I think I am more afraid of "feeling" those very hurt emotions inside of me. I'm afraid to cry and ask my questions why and then hear her empty replies why she was not there for me. It's really hard work.

FaithisAlive . . . you are brave for working through this issues. Sounds like your whole family is sick. You did what you had to survive, but now you can begin your journey to true happiness, as you free yourself from your past. (((((((huggs))))))))