Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayfarer25
Hi alice. this has been my experience as well. i started a new job and my paranoia went off the charts so bad i wound up hospitalized. hang in there. you can make it. just take it day by day, one step at a time.
and like costello said, your visitor is definitely trying to keep you pinned down where you don't want or need to be. it's been my experience that such visitors always show up when you're doing ok to try to bring you down. it might be hard to not listen to her, but maybe take her stuff with a grain of salt if you can.
hope you're feeling better soon.
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I am afraid of being hospitalized so I am on this seesaw of falling off the edge, waking up midstream, flying back up on top of the mountain, being careful to watch myself, until I am sideswiped when I lost my attention. I still want to know why she hates me so much. I think if I could sit and talk with her she would let me know and then I could explain to her I am fine and she is wrong and should just disappear. Its a very personal conversation and I need to be somewhere safe...not in public. I cannot invite her to my house...I do think if I just allowed myself to freefall and be caught by a stranger and put in the hospital I might be better off, but I can snap myself out of that real quick. I've daydreamed about it many a time and it is never good. I have to be in control, for good or bad.