This one, this is the only area I think this causes me problems. Tho i think I am not gonna worry about it anymore. Maybe I just have a different way of expressing it.

I seem to go straight to hurt and skip anger. My bf seems to go to anger first and skip hurt. Or something like that.

When we were growing up we were in no way allowed to be angry. We were not really allowed to express much actually. Of course if my dad gave me a beating, interrogated me for hours or did one of his emotional abuse triads which usually lasted for hours, then I would cry. Then you would really be in **** tho, for crying.

My middle sister would always fight back somehow and she would always get the worst of it, So I am sure my older sister and I learned for watching that. That was not the way to go.

When ever I feel anything tho, it always goes to tears. Maybe that's ok then, it's still coming out, just a different expression. What I don't like is they way other people would see this as. I think it gives people a bad impression of who I am, and is often misunderstood. As much as we would like to think it doesn't matter what others think, sometimes it does.

I remember loosing a good friend one time when I was a kid, because her mother told her that I use tears to manipulate. And wow, if only I could control eye ducts a little better. I have never been a manipulator, so that one event still stands out to me.

My oldest son goes to tears if he is upset, and one of his teachers I think when he was in grade 3 told me he was just trying to manipulate her with tears. he is pretty sensitive and hard on himself, he is also and always has been a perfectionist, he deals with it better now, but I was so upset by her thinking that about him, I knew that was not true. I teared up, haha oh boy, what she must have thought.