I havent talked to the therapist about the depression but Ive talked about everything thats gone on. Even when I go to talk to her I struggle to keep the tears away and try to stay in control of the sadness. This pain is getting so unbearable and doesnt seem to be getting any better. Its just hurting more and more. My relationship is over and I understand that. I know it is for the best but now there is a baby involved. Its been my dream to have a child ever since I can remember. Now I am going to have one and I dont even know if I will be in its life. I almost feel bipolar with my feelings. I can put on a happy face now and then but as soon as reality hits me again its all over. I wake up in the middle of the night now and then and just start crying. Ive almost had to go take breaks at work just to hide it. I dont know how to control these feelings and I have been trying so hard to. Its hard to talk to anyone because they all say it will get better in time. Time doesnt seem to be healing anything only seems to be hurting more. Maybe I am in the wrong place to talk about it. My words are so sparadic because there is just so much to say and I dont know how to get it all out.