Though it does not sound like you are gay, have you tried reaching out to the gay community, e.g., gone to bars with drag queens? You might be able to make friends and explore this part of you more. It may be eye-opening if you find that you have little in common with other male (though gay) cross-dressers (they can be *****y).

I am sorry that your wife is not supportive. Did she know you liked to cross-dress before marriage? It sounds like a difficult and awkward situation for the both of you. You would not be the first cross-dresser who was heterosexual and perhaps that complicates things.