Quote:
Originally Posted by elysia
I want so badly to have a safe, trusting relationship with my T. I had this with my first T. I could actually go in her office and cry and show my emotions, which was magical for me, as I usually bottle things up. But this T is not so warm like the last one was. She doesn't use any physical contact. She also doesn't answer my emails like first T, or writes one brief sentence which comes across as sounding cold. In sessions she can seem cold to me. She doesn't say much positive about me and her questions are very "therapy focussed"--not much small talk etc. I also don't know the first thing about her, whether she is married or has kids.... it's not that I need to know that, but feeling like she is a robot makes me have a difficult time opening up to her. I have searched so long for a T I feel like I don't have the money time or willpower to keep looking.... is this a breaking point? Do I need to look for another T or do I stick it out with Robot?
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I too had a therapist like that many years ago - a robot that I could't even find the darn remote to. She was awful compared to my new therapist of seven months. She dumped me, and I was devastated for many years. I hobbled myself together to raise my child, and stayed away from therapy until recently. Went to family therapy, and am now doing individual therapy with her.
She shares her life. She answers all my questions. She holds me and rocks me when I cry, she holds me just because I ask, and now is willing to say, "I love you." I never new there were therapist out there that practice this way. I've only worked with classically trained psychiatrist and psychologist in the past - none that ever provided me with their remote control.
It's worth it to find a therapist that will give you what you believe you need to heal. I know now that I could never go back to a therapist that does not provide unconditional touch. And will answer most all my emails.