I understand what you mean. I have been really secretive about my 'coping' (as I like to call it) as well. I also keep therapy a secret too. I don't have tons of advice, since I am kinda in the same boat as you are, but have you considered maybe taking up martial arts, or kickboxing?

I know when I was actively in martial arts, I loved feeling empowered, and, well, depending on what discipline you choose, there is quite a bit of physicality to it, there was many a session I came home bruised, but it was even better because I was learning a sweet art too...I know I totally enjoyed that. Just a thought?

I know I didn't really address the actual issue at hand, but thought I would let you know I was thinking about you!