my t is not a big guy. today he said something about his being too slick or fast, something weird, I forget exactly, and I immediately pounced on him with, "oh, you never have to worry about that... in here... did you want to write that down... to use later?" he was pounding the back of his chair, almost crying - laughing. but I do feel a BIG difference in how much i've been able to let him - just him - help me. everybody else kinda messes it up, like my mother always did. but he's doing a good job, which other people can follow his lead on. so I can say, THIS is how I like help, this is what I want or need. Not what "you" decide FOR me.