I don't think god hates me. But I think he likes to play games with me. Give me something great and take it away. Make me more and more humbled. Like started out good, like stripping me of narcissism, realizing I'm a nobody. But now. Everything I sort of gain. Everything that gives me happiness or a sense of being able. Wham! Taken away.

I don't know why god does this to me.