hang in there skittles. I have both sides of this topic. I have a mom who misses me and wants me to come see her more and I have a child who because of his behaviour problems can't live here at home.

I want my child to be here and live here with me because with out him I feel empty. Its kind of like going through the grief cycle of when someone has died. Have you every known someone that you loved or got close to and that person died? It feels like that when the mom has a child who for whatever reasons has to not live at home. There is nothing anyone can do or say that will make that feeling go away. Its just a part of the mother child bond that happens when a mom finds out that they are pregnant, and they carry that child inside of them for the whole pregnancy and then feeding and taking care of that baby.

In some places what I am feeling and what is going on with your mom is called - The Empty Nest Syndrome" . In normal situations this type of grief cycle doesn't happen until the last child in the household reaches 18 and goes away to college or gets married or gets their own appartment.

But like my son and maybe your situation the child was basically "Taken". So now not only is there a feeling of loss and emptyness there also the feeling of our child in a sense has been kidnapped.

So then when there is contact with the child moms like me just want to and need to hold onto that child for however long and how ever possible. The reason is because the mom knows that time to hold their baby their child is on a time limit.

One way my child and I took care of this situation between us was that instead of my getting into a debate of his questions of mommy can I come home now, and my latching on to him too tight during our time together is that we instead would plan activities for our next visitation that way we both knew we WOULD be seeing each other again.

Then our time together began to mean more to the both of us then the fact that he was not living at home.

That sense of a death and kidnapped and emptyness will always be there for me until my "baby" comes home. Yes my child is now 13. But I gave birth to him so he will always be "my baby" even when he's 80 years old.

there is a book out there that might help my son and I love it. Its a childrens book but it explains the mother child bond. Its called -

Love You Forever (Paperback)
by Robert N. Munsch, Sheila McGraw

It goes through a mom having a baby and she would hold and rock the baby saying - I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as Im living my baby you will always be.

As the baby grows the mother continues to rock the child and say that,

The child grows up into a young man with a place of his own and the mom goes and rocks him and says that

Then the mom is old and the man goes and rock the mom saying that saying except changing it to as long as Im living my mom you will always be. Then he goes home and continues the tradition with his own child.

you cant change your mom and the fact that she is going through the empty nest syndrome

but you can sit down with her maybe even with the book and let her know you understand what she is going through and that you both know that it is not possible nd not the best thing for the two of you to be living together right now. Maybe some day that will change but right now the living arrangements are what they are and that you want to make the best of the time you two have together and ask her if there is anything special the two of you can do together during this visitation and also make plans for the next time you visit.