Not asian here either, but definetely understand what you're saying.
I empathize with everythng you're saying with minor exceptions. I don't love people, I hate them all and wish I didn't have to deal with them at all (years of being in the service industry really mess with your people skills, I guess). I want to die daily... still... even on meds. I do feel alone against the world, even though people are constantly telling me I'm not. So there you go... if you feel like chatting, PM me. Otherwise, I wish you the best