You've described my situation almost exactly. I am married relatively successfully but it took a looong time to get that way. I pushed and pulled and clung and was manipulative for close to ten years before it settled down. I honestly don't know why I wasn't left in the cold during that time. I drove my husband crazy and he had every right to not deal with it, but he did. Things aren't perfect now, but things in that aspect have settled down and I still start arguments and am emotional at times but he has become used to it and knows when you back off for a while.

Now...as long as I don't attempt to start any other relationships, I'm fine. The problems are there but I can cope most of the time. When I get in to a relationship, all of that crap starts over.....and all of the problems come back. I want to have friends, have a healthy relationship, but it is not worth the problems it causes, not worth the push-pull, the clinginess, and the manipulation that comes out with it, and worse, the eventual abandonment since most people just won't put up with it. I don't know if I'll ever be able to have another healthy relationship. I'm hoping since I've made this realization that maybe I can work it out...who knows? Only time will tell....but I definitely can't afford to try right now.