Unfortunately ppl who were abused and never seek help for it, don't realize that the abusive nature has been ingrained into them as a default reaction to events. Dershowitz wrote a good book about this all :The Abuse Excuse. (He's a lawyer who writes about how those who were abused always use that excuse when they, also, abuse.

I don't watch Oprah. I know she means well, IMO she is misguided.