If I give you my truthful answer it will sound as if I am condoning you hurting yourself but I believe that we shouldn't lie to each other here.

There was a time when I felt I didn't have a choice. It was either/or. If I didn't hurt myself then I would have to die because the pain was unbearable. But there is a choice. There is a third option. Tomorrow I get to celebrate 2 months without SI. I want to believe that I found the third option and will never go back but I know it isn't that simple. There are triggers out there that will send me back to the old dark place. Will I see the option then? Probably not. I hope when that time comes I will be able to come here and have my friends reply to me like Repunzal just replied to you, and remind me that there is another option. You do not HAVE to hurt yourself. You do not HAVE to do worse. There is help. You are not alone and you have a choice beyond what you see right now.
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft