Thoughts of death, but not being suicial -- I think there is a difference. Do you?

And if I mention to therapist or psychiatrist that I've had thoughts of death but not of killing myself, do they automatically whisk you away to the hospital?

I've had a rough few weeks.

Between the daily crying jags and forcing myself to continue going to an 8-to-5 job where I'm about to be fired (which is causing a lot of stress for me), I've thought about death, what it would be like to be gone, and how at times it seems like there is no point in going on.

But I have not thought of killing myself.

For one, I don't think I have the guts to do it.

For another, I was raised to believe it is a sin that would get me kicked out of Heaven.

But when the evenings drag on and on, and I'm incredibly lonely even if I force myself to be around other people, it seems like the only way to hold on for things to possibly get better in the future is to take a sleeping pill and sleep through it. Which leads to getting up and forcing myself to go to the 8-to-5 job where I'm about to get fired.

I've read some posts where people suggest watching funny movies to get through the depression.

Sometimes that helps.

Sometimes it makes me even more aware of how alone I am. Look at those actors. They have lives. They're doing something fun and creative. Where did they get the words they are saying? From a writer. Someone creative sat down and wrote that script. Someone saw their dreams come true when that script was made into a movie. Hundreds of people were employed because of that burst of creativity.

And here I sit. Alone. Except for the dog. My creativity has shriveled up and I miss it.